I’ve imagined myself riding down the expressway with a cardboard cut out taped to my passenger window that reads,” HELP ME!” The only thing that stopped me is the fear that once someone gets a glimpse of the little fellow in the car seat, they would assume that he does not belong to me because of his skin color. Lol. It happens more with his birth mother than me. My wife is 26 years old and I will be 40 in a few months. We decided in 2018 that we wanted a child especially after her father passed away suddenly. Fast-forward 9 months later we are welcoming our son into this crazy world.
I have a 17 year old son from a previous relationship. Right? I have been out of infant and toddler mode for quite some time. Well, I thought I was ready for a second child, it turns out the kid came here and painted the bullseye on my forehead to catch his reign of terror. Lol. Yes, I still consider myself young but I quickly learned that my knees are about 88 years old given the years of ware and tare due to sports. What do I look like chasing my 18 month old son around, or really in my case running away from my 18 month old son.
He’s got quick feet and hands. Taking a crap is no longer a private matter as he follows me to the bathroom and takes a seat on the floor. I mean, how am I suppose to be free when I have a little baby sitting there staring at me?! If I got in my closet, he’s literally right behind me and when I look down at the bottom rack, he’s shuffling through my pants like he’s helping me figure out what to wear. Let’s not get started on the kitchen. He’s usually right on my heel or somewhere near my computer desk tapping on the keys. If he’s not there then he’s in the cabinets pulling out pots and pans. Now he’s figured out how to open the dishwasher and how to climb in the tub.
This is all the most confusing, yet the most beautiful experience all over again. I feel like it’s only going to get worse, but I have an appointment with my psychologist, psychiatrist, chiropractor, primary care physician and the liquor store. Lol. This is a journey well worth documenting. However, If I’m not back in 2 days, he’s probably got me tied to a chair. Call the people. HELP ME