Comedy Entertainment Reality

The Sound of Thunder (Purple Skies)

You would think that being 39 years old and having experienced some great tragedy in my life would’ve toughened me up by now. Hell no! I am still deathly afraid of thunder. I can remember as a child, a teenager and even as a adult; I would crawl into my grandmothers bed whenever there was talk of the any type of bad weather. I moved away after graduating from high school, but I wasn’t that far away that I couldn’t drive back home to what I considered a “safe place”. You would think the lightening would scare me. It did, but the sound of thunder always made me feel like God was raisingHIs voice.

Our little town had always experienced the worst of the worst when there was heavy rain, thunderstorms and tornados. It would flood, knock down power lines and some people lost everything including their lives. No matter how bad it got, it seemed to always happen around us. We could literally stand outside and see a funnel cloud across the railroad tracks and it would never make its way to our house. There were some winds, at times, that made me feel like the house would probably be on the other side of town the next morning but it never happened that way. I told people my granny had a special relationship with God and so did my mom, but granny had it longer than my mom. I trusted that whatever pact they had was solid. Lol.

After my grandmother passed away that safety zone was my mom. When my mom got sick I had to put on my big girl draws (I’m still scared) and pretend the storm doesn’t bother me. I remember while my mom was in the hospital for several months, when it stormed I didn’t want leave. I figured that she was in that coma talking to my brothers and my grandmother coming up with a game plan to keep me safe. That’s exactly what they did. So now when there’s talk of a storm I call my mom, she tells me I will be okay and I believe her.

Comedy Entertainment Fantasy Fiction Fiction Non-Fiction Reality

Everyone Can’t Be Famous

As a child I always knew I wanted to be someone special. I wanted to be famous, or someone people could count on the change the world. I knew I would use words to do that. I loved writing stories, bringing my imagination to life.
One summer while traveling, my moms and I stopped at a gas station in Kentucky. I walked through the store inadvertently leaving my fingerprint on almost every item in plain sight. We stood at the counter and I glanced to my right noticing a shelf with hundreds of tiny glasses on it. I picked up the first one I could reach and it read,”Alcohol, because no great story started with someone eating a salad!”
I knew at that moment words and liquor would play a big part in my success. You could say I did my best in working towards my dream of being famous. I mean, I was arrested a few times for public intoxication.
Cameron Diaz bumped into me at a coffee shop. She apologized. I flipped her off and called her a weirdo! I even threw a packaged brownie at her calling her,”FOREHEAD” as she walked away! It was a big moment for me.
Of course there was the thing with of chasing Kathy Bates up Hollywood Hill chanting,”MI-SE-RY, MI-SE-RY” from a $20 tour bus. I presumed I was on the right track.
I want to be famous but so far the only notoriety I have is a picture hanging on the wall of a bar I’ve been banned from and a lengthy record of drunken arrest. My father, who claims to have been converted but still smokes crack, invited me to church. I went and because I shouted ,”BOOOOOO” when the pastor said sex before marriage is a sin, they suggested I find another place to worship. I did. The Liquor Store across the street has plenty of spirits to choose from.
The other day I felt like I hit rock bottom when I got into an argument with my neighbor Ms. Janice. Every Thursday we hang out on her balcony, have a few beers and talk about shit she steals from her grandson’s house when she goes to visit. This time she found his stash and I thought we were about to roll-up and kick back , but Janice wanted to share with her backgammon friends and I was not having it.
“Give it up you old dirt bag! I want my cut or I’m calling Ben!’ I couldn’t believe Ms. Janice screamed at me, Ah, Screw you snitch! Where I’m from Rats don’t live long ,so watch it Bitch!’ She snatched the papers out of my hand and walked away. I wanted to tackle her but I’m trying to be a better person and the last bit of publicity I need is to make headlines for body slamming the elderly. The old me would’ve taken her down!
I decided it would be best if I went home and try to reset my life so that I might find my path to becoming positively famous. The next day I was arrested for assault! Ms. Janice came to my door with the shit. I told her to leave me alone! I’m Famous Now!!!
Entertainment Non-Fiction

No Trespassing 

After a night of tequila shots, multiple bottles of wine and some pot. Jake, Tamara, Collin and Grace go out for a drive knocking on random doors. They get to an area that’s a dead end,but there’s a hill they are curious to go over. Looking for more people to terrorize with their childish play, they drive up the hill searching for the next victim. As they top the hill there’s a “No Trespassing” sign in front of a gate. Ignoring the warning they continue on. Once they get to the top of the hill there’s a big Victorian style home that looks to be vacant. There’s an old broken down truck in the yards and seemingly no signs of life on the property. Tamara reluctantly agrees to go forward with the prank feeling that something is wrong. Jake pulls her jacket and convinced her to get out of the car. As they approach the steps of the house, from the corner of his eye Collin sees an image walk past the old truck. Terrified, he screams and they all turn to run towards their car. To their surprise, the car is moving in reverse then suddenly turns and drives towards the back of the house. Realizing they ‘re stranded, they are now trying to figure out how to leave the property. As the scramble towards the gate, they find it closed, locked and covered in wires. Grace knows they only have one choice and that’s to find the car but what they don’t know is the sadistic game they’ll have to play to get it.

Entertainment Reality

All Roads Lead Somewhere 

Chad, Charlie and Caleb Denton, born December 29,1980 to Charles and Diane Denton. The triplets were the talk of this small city just outside of Nashville, Tn. Everyone that saw them always complimented their appearance, their manners as they grew older and their handsome features they inherited from their father,Charles. The Denton Brothers were definitely set up for success and the expectations for them to succeed were set very high.

As they got into high school Caleb was a sports fanatic. He participated and excelled in every sport as well as academics. Charlie’s focus was on culinary arts,  science and math. He could always be found creating something in the kitchen, breaking down an equation or experimenting with almost anything related to one or all of the above. Chad was more laid back. Although he excelled academically, he didn’t show much interest in anything else.

Charles was hard on all the boys ,but especially Chad. He always said Chad reminded him of his brother Frank. Frank was a mathematician who was accepted to Yale. After one semester he started drinking and the alcohol became his entire life. He barely graduated. Frank got a good job working as a financial consultant and things were going very well until his drinking got the best of him. Eventually he was fired, lost his home and family and now he’s living with some woman he met in a trailer park. Charles’s fears were legit,but the pressure he put on his sons was seemingly coming from more than a place of fear.

As the years went by and the boys got older they each had pretty much developed into the type of men they were going to be. Caleb received a full academic and football scholarship USC  moving him quite a ways from his parents and brothers.  Charlie was awarded a scholarship to MIT,but turned it down to attend Auguste Escoffier School of Culinary Art in Austin,Texas. His parents weren’t thrilled, but they weren’t going to change his mind. Chad contemplated college and found that he wasn’t really interested in furthering his education. Furious frank told Chad he had to go to work or college or get out. Chad chose the latter packing his belongings and leaving within that same week.

10 years pass

Charlie can be found shouting orders from the kitchen of the diner he works in. He is preparing some of the best cuisine locals and tourists have ever had. In the next building there’s a group of young engineers gathered waiting for Charlie’s shift to end so that he can tutor them which is his second job. Charlie is doing what he loves and doesn’t worry about much because he gets to do what he loves everyday.

Caleb was drafted to the NFL by the New England Ranglers,but was hurt during off season practice which left him unable to continue after 4 seasons with the team. He is still very active as the defensive coach at a University in his home town. Since his decision to coach he has made major improvements in the program making him on of the most sought after defensive coaches in the country.

Nobody has heard from Chad since he left. Every year around the holiday they all would come home to visit with their aging parents. Every year there was a empty chair that Charles couldn’t help but stare at. Everyone knew he blamed himself,but it was never said aloud. This year they decided to take a family trip to see Charlie and allow him to show them what Austin Texas is all about. Upon arrival they were whisked away to one of the most beautiful hotels they had ever seen. The Marx D Hotel. Everything from the ceilings, to the marble floors, even the toilet dispensers were perfect.

As they were being checked in Charles looked at Charlie and asked,”Son, this seems expensive. Who’s paying for this?” Charlie replied,”I just got a letter saying I won a 3 night stay here so I figured I would bring you guys here.” The front desk clerk handed over the keys (which looked to be solid gold) and directed the concierge to escort them to their rooms. On the elevator they noticed the attendant pressed PH and everyone just kind of looked at one another. Caleb,his wife and twin boys (Nathan and Noah) were first off the elevators and as they turned their mouthes dropped. Everyone then rushed off the elevator to see what was going on. There were attendants there with the doors open and the most beautiful view of the city straight ahead.

Everyone stood in amazement of the penthouse and the view, but the children find its just a very large room for play.As the family starts to get settled there is a knock at the door. Standing there with two racks of clothing is the manager from the boutique  downstairs. “Ma’am/ Sir , please select from these racks whatever you desire. It is on the house. Everyone should be ready to  present themselves at 7:00 p.m. sharp as someone will be awaiting to escort you to dinner on the roof.” Sitting on the side of the bed putting on her jewelry Diane has a sudden flash and grabs her chest.

Tears begin to fall down her cheek, concerned Charles runs to her side,” Baby whats wrong? Are you feeling sick?” Slowly looking up and when their eyes met,” Yes Charles, I am feeling sick. I am feeling sick because I miss my son. I miss Chad. He should be here with his family, but you ran him away.” Standing to his feet and grabbing the glass of wine from the table ,” No Diane, I gave him a choice. He made a decision and just as I thought he’s probably somewhere screwing around making absolutely nothing of his life.”

Knock Knock, Caleb answers the door. Concierge sir, I am here to escort you and your family to dinner. As everyone is scrambling to finish getting dressed and chase down the twins when they gathered at the door Caleb and Charlie could see that their mother had been crying. Afraid to embarrass their mother they waited until they could get her alone to talk to her. When the elevator stopped the family was taken up a flight of stairs and at the top was the most beautiful layout they had ever seen. Almost too good to be true.

There were even two chair for Nathan and Noah with harness attached to keep them from getting hurt or just running away. As everyone took their seats the concierge stepped forward to announce the arrival of the host for the evening. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight it is my pleasure to announce your host for the evening Mrs. Leah Danielle.” This tall blonde beautiful woman approached the table greeting everyone with hugs and kisses. Hello Denton family! Its is truly a pleasure to meet you all.

We have the most exquisite goodies for you all tonight including a special gift the owner of our prestigious hotel, The Marx D.  So please eat up as you have a wait staff at your service to handle anything you you may need. Again, Enjoy and I will be back with you shortly.” Caleb, looking up from his plate smiling,” Oh shit! This is really nice Charlie. You hit the jackpot bro!” You’re telling me, says Charles. This is very nice. Nothing like I thought it would be.”

 About an hour and half passed and the family was just now getting to the end of their meal when Leah showed up again. “Hey guys! Everyone enjoying themselves? I hope so! I just came back up one last time to present you ll with a gift from our owner. This man is an incredible entrepreneur. He built this hotel as well as a chain of others across the world including Dubai, Korea, Hawaii and the Bahamas. If everyone could please reach under the table there is a envelope for each of you.” Everyones faces are puzzled as they reach underneath the table as instructed. I’m going to step back inside to retrieve your gift while you each read what’s inside of your envelope.”

Caleb was the first to get his open and it was a card with the picture of an eye on it. Looking confused he rushed his parents and brother to open their cards. Diane had the number 2. Charles has a card with a picture of a arrow and Charlie the letters UR on his card. The family scrambled to understand the message. While they were trying to put the puzzle together for what seemed like 20 minutes they hear from a distance,” The cards say,” Look to you right!” When they looked to the right there was Chad standing there in board shorts, flip flops and a man bun. It says,” Look to your right , guys!” Diane was the first to drop everything and run to her son. Chad, OMG Chad is that you honey?! (Looking him up an down) You haven’t changed a bit!

 Charlie and Caleb embrace their brother, but then punch him fussing about how much he has missed. Guys I didn’t miss that much! I was in attendance at several of your games Charlie. Both NFL and as a coach. Caleb I was there when you graduated from the culinary academy. I have been by your restaurant a few times, but couldn’t come in. I do send my secretary to get my soy latte, vegan cookies and vegan lasagna which I know you don’t have on the menu, but Insist that she ask every visit , but only leaves with pecan chocolate chip cookies and black coffee.” Shacking his head,Thats you?’ God that woman has annoyed me for almost everyday for 6 years. Now as soon as she walks in I shout.”NO!” Lol.

Everyone was seemingly excited , but Charles took his time going to speak to Chad. Slowly walking toward the family Charles stops as Chad has made his way over to him. “Son, Its good to see you. I thought I would never see you again!”” Dad, I didn’t think you’d care if you did or not! Look, Im not here to hold anything against you. You did what you felt you needed to do. Your interest and mine were not the same. Your methods and my methods were not the same, but we all ended up doing everything we said we would do.”  Hugging his son,” I love you son! I don’t care what you are or what you’ve done, Im proud to be your dad!

Now, I want to meet the owner of this establishment to thank him for allowing us to stay in such a beautiful place. Ive never seen anything like it!” Chad smiling,’You really like it dad?” “Oh yea son! This is amazing!” Chad beckons for Leah and puts his arm around her waist. Charlie and everyone else’s mouthes drop. “Mom, Dad, everyone! I want you to meet my wife, Mrs. Leah Danielle Marx-Denton and we are the owners of this hotel. Leah interrupts Chad,” No…HE IS THE OWNER I was telling you about! Chad built this empire before he met me, but I am glad we are building the rest of our lives together.” Wait, What? Chad this is you ,bro? So you mean to tell me I could’ve stayed in a hotel like this anywhere? You’re still an asshole. (Diane looks up to the sky)Lord, Its good to have my family back together. Thank you.




Jumping Ship

Being a woman who has traveled numerous places and had the opportunity to explore lots of things and people, those explorations gave me much insight on the human species. We know or at least we should know that everyday we will come in contact with different people with different personalities and attitudes. From some of those encounters we may cultivate friendships that grow into relationships.

If we are lucky enough we all will experience the ultimate love tattoo that makes us change almost everything about ourselves in the first 3 months to keep this love. No, it’s not lying. It’s called rearranging until company leaves. You know how some of you are. Your house is filthy, but most people will throw things around to give the impression of a clean house to make their visitors more comfortable. Then there are “the keepers” who could careless of what you think. They let you know up front how messy their lives really are.

Judging from the two you’d want the latter although requires more work. Either way once your decision is made you then put into place what you expect and you both grow from there. Maybe a few years down the line you’ve started to resent each other because you either find out some terrible truths that should have been disclosed in the beginning or you feel like you can no longer deal with your “messy mate.” Don’t get me wrong.  When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, it’s real bad.

It’s easy to walk away from anything that you feel is not worth fighting for l,but if you scored that out of the park, swim across the ocean kind of love is it that easy to walk away from? Relationships are not hard. It’s the people in the relationship who are not willing to work that make it hard. Love is easy, but it does play hard to get sometimes. If you find it and it’s out of the park, keep it even if you have to jump one of the ships.


Life Sold Separately

It’s amazing how life can be so unpredictable and yet so foretelling. Although our experiences range from the worst of times to the best of times every lesson births new life within us. In my personal life, I have experienced death and witnessed life being brought back into the world. The funny thing about death is that it actually gives you the opportunity to correct your mistakes and the opportunity to seize every moment.

I’ve found myself doing some of the most strange things in appreciation of life. Here’s a few that I find myself extremely tickled by. A few weeks ago I was walking to the car and I saw some trash on the ground. Now my knees are extremely ratchet and I know they’re always offended when I with lout warning squat to do anything. This particular day I was thinking about my brothers and how much I missed them. I then thought ,” There are people who can’t use these parts of their body and I have life and I’m not completely broke down. Let me pick up this paper to better myself and mankind.”

I was excited to help,but on my way back up that right knee decided she wasn’t going to budge. So here I am trying to show life how much I appreciate her and she let’s me sink. Bish. Even though this experience was temporarily high jacked I found it to be pleasant in the attempt to better myself on life’s journey. I will say this, the next time I see paper on the ground I will just see paper on the ground.
Thanks for reading.
#1GoodDeedDown #10MillionToGo


He Works on Me

Laying in bed most of the night reading.
At this very moment I’m unable to pinpoint just why I can’t sleep. Reading seems to always put my mind at ease and sleep comes oh so easily from there. After hours of tossing sheets and thumbing through pages, I am stopped by the sound of the garage doors whining as they do so loudly.

Eager to see him ,I stretched myself across the bed and pretended to be asleep.  With my eyes closed and my heart beating faster at every moments passing, the door opens. The scent of his outdoor musk stung my nostrils,but the kiss to my shoulder and the hands down my back excused his sweaty palm that gently squeezed my ass.

I glanced to see his smile when he saw that his boxer briefs and beater were neatly placed on the shelf as if I gesturing that he was stinky. As he stood naked in the shower my eyes were glued to the scene in front of me.
Impatient, I walked to the shower door and decided to let him work on me.

From the tips of my toes, to my back against the wall…He works on me.

My hands on the glass and pulled tight around my waist…He works on me.

Arms around his neck on the sink and ooh the way he kissed her on to the bed…He works on me.

From the pull of my hair…and when he arched my back…He works on me.

From his grunt to my moan…
From pillow talk to a final yawn…
He worked on me.


Summer Relationships

I know how important it is for people to want to be and feel loved. They desire companionship. We all desire that. However,  I’ve determined that there is a particular season when relationships are more important and that season is NOT summer. There is no point in “desperately seeking companionship” in the summer season.

First thing,  if you’re a big girl it’s not your season shuga. We were built to cuddle and it’s too hot for extra flesh. Secondly,  in this category it doesn’t matter if you big because it applies to all over 30. You know heat brings out every woman’s inner thot. So if you have a man you have to watch out for these 17 and 18 year old muscle milk drinking, hard body, no brain having beach thots. They’re the ones you want to throw ice cubes at while they walk by.

Things change when it gets hot. Personally I’m not trying to be in a relationship when it’s hot. I honestly got so hot the other day it felt like Satan had grabbed me and neatly tucked my entire being directly behind his nut sack. That’s bad. You may not agree,but I’m telling you summer love is not good for your health. Lol 😂😂😂


He Knows My Soul

The sexiest thing about a man to me is having one that makes sense out of your nonsense. One who doesn’t run from differences,but accepts the challenge and is willing to grow with you.

One who is not so afraid of you out running him that he takes off and leaves without you, but rather sets his pace to match yours and if either slows down we get behind the other and encourages them to keep going.

We may not have the same individual vision, but because we are spiritually connected I don’t have to change my glasses to see where he’s going and neither does he. We flow! That’s a real love connection.


When You’ve Been Found

When you’ve been found
He obliges your frequent need for pillow talk and can always answer questions or recall the conversation, that means he’s listening.

Those spontaneous hugs and squeeze to the waist and a whisper,”hey beautiful” and the only thing you’ve done is brushed your teeth. He’s attracted to more than a dress up doll. He knows your soul.

The day he tells you,”if I ever stop chasing you, feel free to drop me because at that point you deserve better” and I reply ,”The same goes for me. If I stop running you can go because you deserve better” says he’s serious about doing what it takes to keep me and I the same.

When you can lay opposite ends of the bed he enjoying his sports and I enjoying my book with no interruptions, knowing when to engage and disengage respecting each other’s space in the same place

That’s a real love connection